Picking up the pieces



Sometimes people do things to you without them even noticing. People always need help, that’s what friends are for right? But there are some of us who are more caring than others, people tend to take advantage of that and load their problems onto you. They know that you will always be there to listen, to help them and to give then a shoulder to lean on. They use you as not only a shield but as an anchor to hold on to. The problem with people is that they can smother you without even noticing it, their problems are always bigger. When you have problems, they are insignificant because of who you are. How could you possibly know about problems? That is what they ask. Whatever you are facing gets demoted to number two, and their problems are always number one. That’s the point where friendships become unhealthy, that’s when your friends start to take from you like a blood sucking leech. They do not know this, they are hardly ever conscious because you let them think that it’s normal, you allowed them to get used to it. You let them think that you are a piece of recyclable tissue that they can use time and time again; in addition to that you let them think that you’re a shrink, a priest and the messiah all in one.

This can be very dangerous for the person who is always playing the saviour; these people will stand on their own one day. They will eventually turn the corner and when they start to prosper they will ask you why you are still at square one? They will ask you are still standing on the same square like life is a board game, as if it was not because of them that you kept dropping your dreams, your plans, and your vision to help them. They act as if the reason you lagged behind in your own development was not because you had to carry their baggage in addition to your own. 

Sometimes you just need time for yourself, sometimes you need to be selfish and refuse. Because if you let people take little pieces of you then they will take and never bring anything back. At times in life you put yourself first, like they say in airline videos “before helping others with their oxygen masks, put yours on first”. It is time, time to focus on yourself, time to pick up the pieces.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10.5 in a straight line – The Namib Naukluft Mountains.

Image
A mountain is nature's way of saying take the long way round (Scenic route) May 2012 (The following actually happened, I kid you not) My head was stuck so deep in the map that I was closely analyzing that I hardly noticed when the car stopped, I kept staring at it as though a road to our destination would magically appear. “Why have we stopped, we’re not even a quarter of the way there?” I asked myself. No roads existed to where we wanted to go, just a frighteningly deep valley beyond the rocky hill where we stopped. As I got out of the car all I could see was grass, huge hills and the shadow of three big mountains on the horizon. I glanced at the GPS as I was lacing up my boots while Patrisia grabbed our back packs, what I saw hardly pleased me. “Agreed,” she said as she went left with her technician, and I went right with mine. We agreed to meet at the exact spot where the car was parked at the end of the day.  “10.5 km’s to target,” my technician said with unres
Read more

Trends of deadly passion

I am sure most of you have heard of the phrase ‘a crime of passion’. The reservoir of modern wisdom that is Wikipedia, defines it as “ a violent crime, especially murder, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as sudden rage rather than as a premeditated crime.” Wikipedia also states that the act, as is suggested by the name ( crime passionnel - from French language) is often associated with the history of France. However, such crimes have existed and continue to exist in most cultures. Namibia has seen a rise in the murder of young women, usually by their partner in an intimate relationship. Yes, boyfriends who kill their girlfriends. Usually siting a sudden rage brought on by a quarrel or spat which drives them to commit murder. I’ve been in relationships, and girls are weird. So I can understand how frustrated a guy can get, women are frustrating at times it’s like they are from a different planet. They can drive
Read more

Namibian education system language policy - 5 things that could go wrong

A month or two ago, or even three; time feels like it’s moving slower these days. The Namibian Education Minister announced a radical change in language policy, English would no longer be the medium of instruction in the lower primary phase. This means that from grade 1 – 5 children in the Namibian Education system will be taught in their mother tongue. I know what you are thinking, you’re probably going, “Why not? Children should be taught in their local languages.” Which is not necessarily a bad thing, research has shown that mother tongue education improves language acquisition and learning in general. However, no research has ever been done in Namibia to prove this. As it stands, there is no empirical evidence to prove that mother tongue education will work in Namibia. We seem to be copying South Africa who have a similar policy in place, South Africa has also lowered pass requirements from high school to improve results (not pointing fingers, I’m just saying). You’re prob
Read more