The girl who breathes fire

I once knew a girl, but let’s not make it sound like she’s no longer living. I still know her. She’s intense as they come, she has more levels of emotional intensity than a Ferrari engine has gears. I am talking Nollywood movie actress & Tyler Perry’s Medea character rolled into one. She will punch me, but she’s the most dramatic person I’ve ever known beside myself of course. When we first started hanging out, everyone warned us: but we never listened. If you ask her she’ll say that I fell for her. Ask me, and I’ll say that she fell for me. So maybe we were both falling and we caught each other. If that even makes sense. It seemed like a great idea at the time. 

Let's call her T, for story telling purposes. She had hormones with entropy higher than a messed up teenager’s room. I am not an expert on teenage girls, but I assume their inconsistent up and down behaviour is down to hormones. T could be smiling and angry at you all at once, like Rupert Grint’s character in the Harry Potter movies (Ron Weasly) said if a guy could feel all of that his head would explode.  So I learned to just relax & take it in my stride. She taught me the science of emotional pyrotechnics. When someone spits flames don't spray oil or aerosol at the flames, even if it looks cool. Don’t be a wise ass when a girl is mad, no one likes a wise ass. Just be calm & logical. But be sure to look genuinely concerned, no one like’s weirdo’s who look like they think emotions are letters in the Greek alphabet. She didn’t spit actual flames though, replace flames with simmering anger: you get my point?

 When T was angry (slightly aggrieved), increases in average temperature would be recorded across several towns. The meteorologists at the weather office probably know about her by now, they probably have a cool nickname for her: like El Niño does. She’s a volcano type of woman. She holds her anger in until she can’t anymore, then boom! Actually that is exactly how I was, before depression drastically reduced the number of fucks that I give to zero. But through all her tantrums I remained calm and collected. Except this one time, where I lost it and didn’t talk to her for a month. She was fire and you don't let a fire spread. You smother its oxygen supply. But to be fair to her, I am a very frustrating human being. So my warped approach to thinking also contributed if not triggered her tantrums. That is how I developed the ability to be calm under pressure. No stress from an exam, test, and presentation compares to a flaming T, no way!

 That is what defined our relationship, her vibrant intensity and my calmness. As odd and mismatched as it seemed, it worked. Somehow it just worked, I could never figure out a scientific formula for it. We grew to understand that our different approaches to life where necessary, we grew to love the parts of our personalities that we both had that annoyed the other person. The Idiocy of my sarcasm made sense to her, the unpredictability of her complex emotional states made sense to me. It worked, till the day we grew up. They said we sometimes followed each other around like puppies, I can neither confirm nor deny that allegation. We fought like all great lovers do but we showed each other love more than we fought. But in the end, life had other plans for us. We were perfect till the day we both started growing up, the day we started behaving like adults is the day our love burned to ashes. The ashes are still where we left them, enclosed and confined in the love letters we often poured our hearts into. The older we grew, the further we drifted from each other. Till we were so far apart that you could fit an ocean in between us. We went from being as close as weeds to being as separated as Kazenambo's front teeth. But we never forgot about each other, never will. That is the fuckery of Life! But I believe everything happens for a reason, we met for a reason. We drifted apart for a reason, okay: that last part I don't believe!

Truth be told, T saved me. She saved me from the nightmare that high school would have been without her. I was struggling to keep up with my genius class mates, sometimes it felt as though I did not belong with them. Strange, the same bunch of geniuses that I was envious of are some of my oldest friends. I spent 60% of high school in an emotional low, the other 40% was bearable because I was too caught up in T’s vivacious energy to give a fuck. She has this energy about her. Which is annoying to most people because they don’t understand where she gets it from. So when I see a guy getting flames thrown at him by his girl, I think of T. 

It’s strange to me how someone who I knew on a first, middle and last name basis since the age of 15 could almost become a stranger. It’s something that’s happened to me all my life, I build great relationships with people and then we just drift apart. Am I broken? Maybe there’s a part of me that’s missing, and unlike electronic appliances: you can’t send humans back to the factory. But at least I have realized it. I spent a lot of the previous year reconnecting with old friends, hunting them down and breaking bread with them. I know that I can’t be close buddies to all of them, geography literally will not let me. But If I can see them at least once a year then I won’t come across as such a retard. The other problem is that I leave my phone lying around the house, 99% of the calls I receive are missed calls. Which technically means that they don’t count. But it’s something I am working extra hard to rectify. While I still have time and I am still sane I should spend as much time as possible with people that made a difference in my life.

T and I connect sometimes, but it's been so long since I've seen her that she's probably grown hips by now. But I am sure her forehead is still bigger than Rihanna's, good thing she's not on twitter, coz I'd get flames for that. I think of T to remind myself of how life was sweeter when it was simpler. When it really wasn't that complex, when I looked forward. Coincidentally, she called me the day I first wrote this. So the flood of what appears to be emotion might be attributed to her. Further investigations are underway, because it is still disputed whether or not I actually have emotions (investigations have proven inconclusive thus far). She said "Please tell crazy & insanity to leave you alone, tell them to chill their guava. Until I see the next time we meet.” So I asked her, "So what happens after that? You’d be cool with visiting me in the looney bin?" Just like my stint in the school choir, she did not find that question amusing.  So thankfully now I have a reason to remain mentally sane & functional, I might actually take this life thing seriously for a while.