2014 - the strange, the good and the downright unexplainable



Ah, the end of another year. The way calendar years just sprint past, you’d think time is on steroids or something. Anyways, due to the fact that I am neither famous nor notorious enough to make the Namibian newspapers list of personalities for the best and worst of 2014. I have decided to follow Job Amupanda and just do my own thing, right here on my blog, my little republic where I am dictator and saint – at the same time. So here goes.

2014 was? The year I sold my imaginary dankie Botswana, started over and decide to follow my passion – becoming a fully-fledged grammar Nazi.

2015 will be? Hopefully the year I gain some fame, notoriety or a government tender. Just something to make me special, city of Windhoek plot eligibility type of special.

Strangest dream of 2014? Same weird dream I have every year, I am still in UNAM and don’t have enough credits to graduate. Not strange to most, but to me, it’s terrifying.

Weirdest place you woke up in 2014? It really wasn’t that kind of year. But, I did wake up on the living room floor. Still wondering how I made it from the bedroom, down the stairs and past the drunk guy on the couch?

What’s in your pocket right now? Cell phone, spare change and a dream. I’d have my wallet on me, but it’s been a financially difficult year and my left pocket has a hole in it.

What do the shoes that you’re wearing say about you? I need to publish and start selling books, and fast, while the soles are still attached to the rest of the shoe. Also, that maybe the voices in my head have no fashion sense.

Wet your pants moment of 2014? I don’t do that anymore. Oh, you mean embarrassing moment. Uhm, okay. I met a friend who was under the impression that I’m still in northern France and only come back to Namibia every September. I clearly have become a ghost. If you tell me that doesn’t qualify as an embarrassing moment, I will go Robert Mugabe on you.

Most inspiring Namibian? Right now, Job Amupanda. Usually, Shinovene Immanuel, Shino should join the Namibian CIA or something. Lurking in the shadows, MacHenry Veenani. Boisterous in victory as the new official opposition and gracious in defeat to the ruling party.

2014’s biggest fool? Where do I start? The EFF for wasting a pretty good franchise opportunity and taking copy and paste literally. The special ones and former Windhoek City Mayor Agnes Kafula, for turning the city into their personal tuck shop. Last but not least, eligible politically literate young Namibians who didn’t vote. I will quote @bubbs07, “Not voting is not rebellion. It is surrender.”

Short term goal? I thought buying a house or a plot, then I settled on appearing in a KFC commercial, I think I can get the colonel to spill his secret recipe.

One wish, what would it be? To make an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Wait.. it’s over? Really? Oprah retired? What is the world coming to? Okay, how about the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. What.. he’s gone as well! Okay, let’s say One on One with Kazembire Zemburuka. Although his inquests scare me a bit, wouldn’t want to be stuck with him in an elevator.

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