One on one – The curious case of Kazembire Zemburuka



There are very few places that freak me out. I’ve survived the horrors of the Swakop River and the chameleons of the Namib Desert, but there is one place that just makes me uncomfortable. You must be curious to know right? Well, it’s an elevator, I am scared of elevators. I know it’s hard to believe that a descendent of beasts is scared of elevators, at least I’m not afraid of girls (Although the jury is still out on that).

That being said there is one person that I would never want to be stuck in an elevator with, I know what you’re thinking. But, it’s not Solange Knowles. I have quick reflexes, so unlike Jay Z, I would probably would have seen it coming. Not to say that Jay Z’s reflexes are slow, I am just saying. I am an African man, we know not to stand so close to an angry woman, regardless of family ties. You give her space, lots of space. 

Where was I? Oh, the elevator scenario. The one person that I wouldn’t want to be stuck in an elevator with is Kazembire Zemburuka. Who is he? And why does pronouncing his name probably feel like your tongue is lifting weights? He’s an investigative journalist for the Namibian Broadcasting Cooperation (NBC, not the American one), he presents a Q and A type of show called ‘one on one’. This dude has an inquisitive tongue and smells fear like a predator. He’s thrown ministers, trade union leaders and CEO’s into momentary lapses of panic. It’s like he spent his youth locked up in a room watching episodes of Carte Blanche and re-runs of Q and A with Riz Khan.

This one time, he almost got beaten up by the then Minister of Youth and Sport Kazenambo Kazenambo. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating, I don’t really think the minister was going to rough him up. But he did scowl at him, angrily snarling “Muatje monyanda.” Which translates to, “Boy, you better stop playing!” Kazembire made Job Amupanda of the SWAPO youth league nervous, and that’s quite an achievement. Job is known as Julius Malema 2.0, because he shares the same radical leftist approach. Job smiled every time Kazembire caught him off guard with a questing he didn’t anticipate. You might want to do a quick google search so that we are all aware of the persons I am referring to, I’d hate to leave anyone behind. I heard that a fortnight ago he met his match in Sidney Martin, a local businessman. I definitely would have loved to see that, NBC should release a DvD set.

I remember an episode where he kept saying to the acting Secretary General of one of the biggest trade unions, “How can you say there is no corruption.” Why would he say that? Well, because the previous Secretary General is being prosecuted for fraud and embezzling union funds, but the acting Secretary General kept stating that there was no traces of corruption in the organization (Ignorance is bliss?). But my favourite so far has to be Sackey Shanghala the chairman of the Law reform commission, Kazembire really had him in a corner. Legislation to amend the electoral act still hadn’t been finished at the time, which is what Sackey was hired for, he’s a truth bender (Lawyer). But Sackey has quite an extensive vocabulary of confusing law jargon and this accent that makes him wonder why he doesn’t sound like a Sackey Shanghala. Sackey was dropping dictionary words like they were bombs during an airstrike. I think the Oscar Pistorius case would have been over a long time ago had Gerry Nel bought in Kazembire to grill Oscar on the stand, but that’s just my imagination indulging itself.

In a world where everybody is jumping on a political band wagon, looking to improve their chances of getting a government tender, it’s rare to find a journalist willing to ask the tough questions. So would I ever face Kazembire one on one? Hell yeah, I’d take my mom and have her behind the camera to make sure he doesn’t try anything. What grown man would let his mom intimidate people for him? You clearly haven’t met my mom (Woman is gangster).
Kazembire (Left) with NBC Director General Albertus Aachumub on set

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