Trends of deadly passion

I am sure most of you have heard of the phrase ‘a crime of passion’. The reservoir of modern wisdom that is Wikipedia, defines it as “a violent crime, especially murder, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as sudden rage rather than as a premeditated crime.”

Wikipedia also states that the act, as is suggested by the name (crime passionnel - from French language) is often associated with the history of France. However, such crimes have existed and continue to exist in most cultures.

Namibia has seen a rise in the murder of young women, usually by their partner in an intimate relationship. Yes, boyfriends who kill their girlfriends. Usually siting a sudden rage brought on by a quarrel or spat which drives them to commit murder. I’ve been in relationships, and girls are weird. So I can understand how frustrated a guy can get, women are frustrating at times it’s like they are from a different planet. They can drive you up the wall. But the aggressive nature of the crimes committed in Namibia are on a whole different level, nothing can possibly justify some of the actions perpetrated.

There have been several incidents where a boyfriend has shot, stabbed or strangled his girlfriend or lover and then attempted to end their own life. With varying degrees of success. It is the nature of these murders that really chills the spine, because the perpetrator usually kills an unarmed and defenseless victim. Nothing can justify killing in that manner. The excuses of infidelity, gold digging and temporary insanity just don’t cut it.

The most recent case resulted in the tragic death of a 24year old laboratory assistant, at the hands of her boyfriend (click link to read). He stabbed her and then proceeded to decapitate her. Yes, you heard right. He stabbed her with a knife and severed her head. It has blurred the line between a crime of passion and pre meditated murder. I’ve written about this issue before so I am not going to repeat what I said last time, but I have noticed some trends that I would like to share.

 

1.      80% of the perpetrators belong to the Owambo tribe. It is the most dominant tribe in Namibia so it’s no surprise.



2.      The perpetrators are all less educated than the women they kill. Basically these guys are losers, those who are not losers hold employment positions that offer no growth at all (Police officers, soldiers, hustlers etc.) The young women have higher earning power or potentially will earn more in the future than their boyfriends. In the above mentioned case, the young woman was paying for her boyfriend’s rent. How you kill a woman who pays for your accommodation is beyond me, we have no answers. Literally no one in this country has a solution right now.

 

3.      All the perpetrators, I should really call them killers. All have one thing in common. They all had showed some aggressive tendencies that these women ignored because women are nurturing and forgiving. “He didn’t mean it”, usually the most common excuse that women give. “He promised to change”, is another one.



4.      There is always a rift in the relationship which was recently mended or was hibernating.  Either pertaining to infidelity, baby mama drama or money. Usually the girl breaks up with her boyfriend because of his infidelity or violent nature, he begs for forgiveness and somehow she takes him back. This was by far the most noticeable trend that I noticed when I re-read all the newspaper articles. There is always some friction in the relationship to begin with.

 

5.       Owambos frown upon psychological and psychiatric help (General African problem), so these dudes are probably sick but never seek help. I will probably get dragged under the bus by my fellow Owambo men. But I think we all know that some of us have anger management issues, better to get help. Than be that guy that no one picks an argument with because your anger is like a vampire’s thirst for blood. It doesn’t help that among black communities depression, anxiety and anger management are considered as white people problems.


6.      There is this flaw in our upbringing, “A man cannot show weakness.” You literally cannot cry, niggas will beat the shit out of you or publicly shame you in front of the other boys for showing weakness. So we grow up hiding our feelings, it’s burned into our brains while we are still young. When you grow a bit older you are told that the man is the head of the house and he calls the shots, most of us take this literally.

I am not an expert on relationships (I should be the last to give advice on relationships), I am simply analysing trends. Patterns don’t lie, if the same thing keeps popping up over and over: then there is a reason. I am not saying that guys who tick all the boxes from above are more prone to carry out passion killings, actually: maybe I am. But one thing that I know is that we’ve been trying to find a cure for passion killing for some time. However, prevention is better than cure.