Why football is a beautiful game


Females don’t understand why males like football, to them the notion of Soccer as the Americans call it is foreign, to some even alien. But an exceptional few actually take an interest, in the case of my friend Sara Shanyengana it’s more of an obsession. I swear that girl Worships Manchester United, to her Sir Alex is god, Cristiano is Judas, Ryan giggs is Jesus and Wayne Rooney is Simon Peter.
Back in the days

I have made several attempts to explain Soccer to girls; on one particular occasion I used lipstick as a goalie, powder as a defender and eyeliner as a striker to explain the offside rule with differing results from the different girls. I will however not delve into the intricacies of Soccer but I will give my explanation of why men love soccer so much, why when Liverpool plays I get so non-responsive that you could ask me my ATM pin and I would give it to you just to get rid of you.

Present day, i can still hit a screamer with my left foot.

Soccer is a unifier, a common language. It is the one thing that unites religions and bonds enemies into friends. Soccer is to the world what United Nations is supposed to be, it brings peace for ninety minutes it transcend cultures, age-gaps and genders. From Ouagadougou to Otshipanda, kids all over the world play this sport; it can be played almost anywhere, even in the middle of a road. Any spherical object can be used as a ball and any linear structure as a goal.

Take my team as a prime example; RC Vandrouvre is the perfect union of black and white working towards a common purpose. History divides us and religion tears us apart but soccer unites us, for ninety minutes we are brothers and go to war for one another, we are one till the fat lady sings. Greg is our veteran defender/midfielder/3rd choice goalie, he’s a thirty seven year old Frenchman (Runs like a 20 year old), and Ishmael is our defensive rock a Senegalese lion of Teranga. If it was not for Soccer those two (A Christian and a Stout Muslim) probably would not have crossed paths, but together you will never beat them, if Ishmael does not take you out, Greg will finish the Job.

Greg telling Isso "I will take the big one and you take the small one".

Lionel our captain goes by the name “El Creator”; he speaks one word of English a year. His French on the other end is like listening to Lavinia from Okahao. But on the field we understand each other perfectly, one show of hand one flick of a finger and I read him like an open book under a magnifying glass.  According to Chef (our coach), first time he saw me he thought I was from Senegal if it was not for my countryman Gideon he would have greeted me in Wolof (hope I spelled that right), He has taught me to enjoy my Soccer and Calm down (Several times I have been accused of playing like a toddler with ADD). If it was not for Chef, I would never have found out that I am tougher than I look.
Pele called it the "beautiful game"

I hope that most females that read this will understand Soccer that much better and why it is so dear to the male population all over the world. I hope I have illuminated how 22 grown men chasing a ball all over the field can be entertaining. I hope now that you understand why it should be imperative to give up the remote when soccer is on and why you should never bother a guy watching a soccer game.

Comments

  1. Bubbs15 May 2011 at 00:21

    I don't understand, what's not to like?! I mean, as if 22 (21 if Wayne Rooney is playing) hot, sweaty, hunks running around for 90 minutes isn't motivation enough for any girl to watch.

    But honestly, football is an art, and really the most beautiful game ever played.

    ReplyDelete

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