Forbidden fruit : why mean cheat.

Why do men cheat? The universe of excuses stretches infinitely, but the answer is really simple. Men cheat because they choose to, and because they want to. Some of my peers might say it’s because of temptation. What? Gerara here! Shiet man! Temptation is not a Jedi, it doesn’t have mind control powers. Temptation will always be there. Let me illustrate: I am allergic to Mopane worms, but every time that my aunt fries them, I get tempted to have one and pretend that allergies don’t affect people with dreadlocks. If I did try a Mopane worm, it wouldn’t be because of temptation, but because I willingly made the choice indulge myself when I shouldn’t.  If I can resist the urge to have juicy Mopane worms, then temptation of the flesh can totally be resisted.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. This is a sad reality, cheating is like smoking, the best way to stop is not to start in the first place. Women love the idea of men that they can fix, women are attracted to men with a little bit of broken inside them. Perhaps, that’s why a lot of them justify staying with cheating men by deluding themselves, that once they’re married he’ll calm down. Marriage doesn’t change a man, a man must change himself before he enters into marriage. Otherwise your cheating boyfriend will be a cheating husband, and then graduate to Uncle Bae, and eventually become a Sugar Daddy. Save yourself the chest pains honey! Leopards can camouflage but they can’t change spots. Let me explain. They’ve put really gross and nauseating pictures on cigarette packs, they’ve bolded the warnings, yet people are still are still smoking. Forbidden fruit is addictive.

Don’t settle for a cheat because you’re afraid of being lonely. Life hates lonely people, sad, but true. There are a lot of independent, god fearing, and broody women out there. Many are contemplating lowering their standards, and settling for a partner who they know can’t even stay faithful to his barber. Do not settle for less than you deserve. By doing so, you have set a dangerous precedent, you’ve doomed at least two generations of your bloodline to the same fate. Your children and your children’s children, will grow up thinking it is okay to accept mediocre.

There is no science to cheating, it’s just a simple conscious decision. The cocktail of excuses is just smoke and mirrors. Temptation, sexual starvation, boredom etc. Like I said the universe of excuses is infinite, but ultimately the decision rests with the individual. You can like different flavours of ice cream, but you don’t need to have them all at the same bloody time!

At this point I’ve realised that it sounds rich, coming from a man with his fair share of skeletons. Don’t throw stones if you have a house with large windows and what not. But I feel someone has to call my fellow brothers out, we’ve become so untrustworthy that women are scared of us. I have younger sisters, so I endeavour to be the kind of man I want my sisters to end up with. I don’t want my sisters to end with fuckboys, you-know-what-um-sayin? No man is perfect, I can attest to that, I’ll be first to say I’ve screwed a few good women over, burned one too many bridges. But one thing that I am, is honest, sometimes too honest. Guys, we’re fucking up big time!

In the Linguistics there are two observations made on children and how they acquire language. 1. Children are born with the ability to learn any language (Which language? That depends on the child’s environment). 2. The easiest way for language acquisition by children is mimicking those around them. 

Let’s steal this concept, shall we. Let’s say most guys condone cheating and are comfortable with it, because that’s what the environment was like. Fathers having children out of wedlock (childhood), and then observing older brothers and role models indiscriminately chase skirts (adolescence). So basically it’s a cycle, and by cheating you perpetuate the cycle (Adulthood). The young boys around you, who look up to you, will mimic what you do (Repetition of the cycle). And so it goes on, and on, and on. But, no one forces you to do anything, if they do, run to the POLICE! 

You still have the option of not mimicking those around you, you can choose not to get trapped in the cycle. 

Frederick Douglass says, “It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men”. Let’s tweak that to: it’s easier to raise strong boys than it is to fix broken men. 

Times have changed, so we simply can’t apply what worked in the past, cheating is wrong. We should teach that to our sons, brothers, nephews, and each other. Times have changed, women have changed the game, both in economic and social spheres, and we’re still lagging behind, especially when it comes to relationships. We haven’t adapted to the modern day relationship, at least not emotionally. We’re not only cheating on our women, we’re raping them, and killing them. But that's an issue that will require its own separate blog post.

Let me exit by sprinkling some archaic diction on this here blog post. The time of change is nigh, the time for change is upon us, the time for change is now.