Leaving traces

I was lying in bed, crippled by Sunday morning laziness. I was too tired to get out of bed, but not sleepy enough to drift back into dreamland. I was in quite a pickle, what to do? I decided to listen to radio, and not just any radio station, I tuned into ‘The’ radio station. Fresh Fm. They have this disc jockey who hosts the morning show on weekends, Walla bantuan, “die man met die plan om af te gaan.” He’s a cross between a philosopher and a love guru, playing love songs and filling the role of agony aunt at the same time. It’s a great show though.

So a girl calls in, actually a young woman. She was pissed that Walla was going off on young Namibian women, he was complaining about their lack of domestication. “These Instagram girls, they just know how to take pictures of outfits, but they refuse to cook.” Walla was fed up that young women just don’t want to break their nails preparing a meal, they will demand that you order a pizza or something. Clearly Walla was fed up with take away meals. So the young lady goes off on Walla, she was pissed that he expected young women to assume domestic duties, without any clear definition of the relationship. “I can’t just start cleaning and cooking for a guy, it depends on how long we have been dating. Also, I can’t housekeep for a guy who is just in a situationship with me.” She said, with a slight agitation in her voice. Walla was impressed, he asked her, “Do you cook for your guy?” To which she replied, “I am single Walla.” So Walla was amazed how all the intelligent and fierce young women are all single, but all these Instagram girls always have boyfriends.

Her reply really caught my attention, “Walla, I am at that age where I just don’t have the time to play around. I want a guy whose maturity matches mine, I am not dating for the sake of it anymore.” Clearly the young lady wants to settle down, but the guys that approach her still haven’t stopped chasing yet. So she’d rather just be single. She continued, “You get to a point in life where loving yourself is more important, sometimes you take time out of relationships to become one with yourself, one with God.” At that point, I was also impressed, she seemed like a young woman who knows what she wants and isn’t willing to compromise on her basic requirements.

But, it’s what she said at the end of her call that really intrigued me and got me thinking. “As a woman you also just can’t play house with every guy you date. You have to understand, every single man that you get with, deposits themselves inside you. So if you hop from one guy to the next, by the time you’re ready to settle down and find a guy who is ready, there is no space left for him. You’re full of all the guys that came before him.” Her words intrigued me because modern society is cruel, a woman with many partners loses her value, her worth depreciates with every guy she spreads her legs for (excuse the bluntness of my language). The case isn’t the same for men, the more women a guy beds the higher the level of admiration from his peers and certain sections of society. Therefore a woman is actually mandated to be extremely discrete as to whom she engages in physical intimacy with. The higher a woman’s body count, the lower her perceived worth.

So I started thinking, which is not always necessarily a good thing. Let’s consider men and women as souls, souls with energy. Let’s assume that men are created with just a small amount of excess soul energy and women are made with the capability to receive small amounts of excess soul energy. I make this assumption based on physiology, men are designed to go inside women (excuse the bluntness of my language, again). When oppositely oriented souls collide, excess soul energy is transferred, from the man to the woman. So basically, every time a man is emotionally and physically intimate, he loses a bit of his excess soul energy in the process.

Simultaneously a woman gains excess soul energy with every collision between souls. So basically, as the young woman said, men tend to deposit themselves inside women. Think about the above statement from a spiritual and emotional point of view, leave the physical out of it. If you do this you’ll eventually realise what I realised. I have lost traces of my soul energy to every woman I have loved, is there anything left? Or have I given away all my excess soul energy?

So I pondered it further, if my assumptions are true, then most men really are just empty vessels. They have very little or no soul energy at all, so if you’re a lady settling down with a guy who has had his fair share of women, you’re basically buying a used car with great exterior appearance but a fucked up engine. He’s left most of his excess energy inside the women before you.

Keeping to the assumptions, it means that women actually gain excess soul energy with every man they collide with. So a woman who has been around, for lack of a better word, might have so much excess soul energy that there is no space left. Now what if a guy comes along, ‘The one’, they guy that who is ready to settle down with you? Which bring back to one of the young woman’s statements, “by the time you’re ready to settle down and find a guy who is ready, there is no space left for him.”

So in a never ending stream of thoughts, assumptions and concepts of souls and energy. I realised that maybe I think too much, maybe some questions are better left unanswered. What if my assumptions are false and soul energy actually flows both ways, what if it actually flows the opposite way, from a woman to a man? That’s when I decided to get up and go have breakfast, the day is too short to be confusing oneself with concepts that can’t be scientifically proven.