Letter to Unemployment



Dear Unemployment

Unemployment my old foe, so you say that you missed me. Well I didn't miss you at all. I thought that I was done with your unpleasant presence. You say that I just hurt your feelings? Dude! You do know that no one likes you right? You're loathed by millions across seven continents, you should be more like your cousin 13th cheque, that guy has more friends than a promiscuous girl .You say that you are lonely, that since I've left you've have no one to depress and break down psychologically. Well, that's not what the statistics say, according to talented number crunchers I am one of nearly 300 000 Namibians who has to put up with you.

Now, the last time we did this dance you had it all your way, we just sat around procrastinating. This time, I call the shots: we will do it my way. I talk and you listen, I'm not going to sit and play with you like you're little puppy (I got shit to do, so deal with it). What! did you just call me crazy? Oh no, you didn't! Just because this conversation is talking place entirely in my mind and I occasionally talk to myself doesn't make me crazy. I'm normal, the shrink disagrees but what does he know.

Anyways, I need to go. There's a job application I need to send out and stuff I need to write, so please excuse yourself and step. Go on, vamos! Allezy! Fustek! Inda hwiya! Suga wena! How many languages should I use? So you say I’m being mean to you, oh! It is my mind, thus we play by my rules.

Not hoping to see you again till I'm 50

Fly
P.S. Just so you know, no one likes you, that part is real and not just in my head.

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