Fatal love - when passion kills

The nation is outraged; the citizens are still reeling in shock. To put it in simple terms people are incensed at the increasing number of passion killings. The story usually reads, boy meets girl, boy charms girl with money/car/jewellery, relationship breaks down, boy catches feelings, picks up weapon proceeds to kill girl and then he kills himself. Usually in that order but situations tend to vary.

Namibians are very peaceful people unless of course it’s 3 a.m. at a bar in Eveline Street or an RDP rally in northern Namibia staged in a SWAPO stronghold in both cases things get violent. We are also very reactionary beings, always exaggerating the symptoms and ignoring the disease, things such as TIPEEG are indications of the tendency of Namibians to hit the panic buttons way too early. The panic buttons have been flashing towards the re-introduction of the death penalty as a measure to deter men from killing women. However protection of life is entrenched in our constitution, meaning it can’t be changed unless the constitution is amended. The Namibian constitution is regarded as a sacred document and is only ever amended to give the leader of the ruling party an extra presidential term. Death row in Namibia won’t materialise.

But as reactionary beings Namibians will point fingers at almost anything, but will not try to find a way to understand what would drive a man to murder a defenseless woman in cold blood, if the murderer still qualifies to be called a man is debatable.

I stole an idea from Ligola muzanima’s facebook wall; she suggested that a national seminar be held to help men deal with the after effects of the breakup of a relationship seeing as a girl breaking off relations is usually the trigger of passion killings. (Consider the seminar already in progress) I personally believe Namibian men as a collective should just grow the fuck up and be real men, not little boys with overgrown testicles. If a woman ends a relationship, then just deal with it and learn to deal with rejection (it’s a part of life). If you have a hard time letting go then seek assistance, we have psychologists, priests, social workers, heck even a six year old can tell you if you love something then just let it go and walk away. Men especially Namibian men cheat on women and have multiple girlfriends, we know that shit like that is wrong but we still do it, but have you ever heard of a Namibian woman killing her boyfriend after her boyfriend ended their relationship or she found out that she has a side chick? I don’t think so, so who the fuck are we to decide that “if I can’t have her then no one will”. That is savage stupidity of the highest order and that nonsense should stop immediately, if we go that route then there won’t be any women left in this country.

There are some who argue that women are not without blame, they like nice things and will use their natural features to get to a man’s money. Many guys have claimed to have invested money in girls only for the girl to break up with them when she graduates or finds a job. Guys should put limits on how much they support women; ask yourself why she just readily accepts whatever you give her? Why she never declines because she feels you’re giving her too much? It’s already an indication that she’s just using you, I believe (although foolishly) that a real women with class and self respect will tell a guy when he’s giving her way too much and tell him to tone down on the material possessions.

Let me make this clear (close your eyes and use your ears to listen), if you are dating a girl and you’re paying for her rent, her hair, clothes and groceries. Then you my friend are not making an investment. You’re basically indirectly paying her for the occasional use of her genitals and the odd show off to your friends, no such action can be termed an investment. So do not catch feelings if the girl dumps you once she can pay for her own shit herself, because you were basically holding her hostage with your money. If you are involved with a girl who does not reprimand you for over splurging on her then you better know that she’s only with you for your money (Wise up).  But a thought has sprung to mind that while we organise a national seminar to help men deal with getting dumped like a hot potato another seminar should be held right next door for women “How not to be a an airheaded gold digger”.

So what is the exact answer to the problem, should we bring back the death penalty? Will it stop the passion killings? I personally don’t believe it will change anything. The US has had it for decades and their domestic violence related murder rates are still high. The best approach is to get to the root of the problem. It would not hurt if journalists, psychologists and even psychiatrists did some research, interviewed the perpetrators and delve deep into the issue. It will serve no purpose to kill the killers if their reasons for killing are not understood. Is there something wrong in the male Namibian mind? Is it the way we raise boys these days? Because if upbringing is the problem then we are sitting on a future generation of killers, capital punishment becomes useless. 

 Men should learn how to deal with their feelings, learn to cope with disappointment and stop bottling shit in. Because generally the danger is the men and their reaction to the abrupt end of a relationship that they feel they invested time and money in, once Namibian men as a collective learn how to deal with heartbreak then maybe the world will be a safer place for women and girls. Women usually just eat ice cream, take tequila shots and cry while listening to love songs and most of them are running things in Namibia so maybe we as men should take a page out of their book and deal with our shit without getting violent.

 Women on the other hand (Scratches head), to tell you the truth women are complex creatures and an intervention to make them understand that all men are primal beings and certain things can trigger the inner Neanderthal to  suddenly unleash pent up anger will take a whole month if not half a decade. I’m not making excuses; I’m just advising Namibian women not to light a cigarette while standing next to a petrol tank (I hope that makes sense). Women tend to downplay a man’s show of aggression, people don’t just snap, there are always signs and ignoring then is foolish. But I hope that as you all read this, you try to understand why I chose to look at the causes of the problem rather than running towards the death penalty. Or we could just pass a law to castrate rapists and perpetrators of passion killings (without anaesthetic), then take them to jail if they survive, but I have been told an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.