Things that amuse me when I'm at work

Your first job will probably suck; you won't like it that much although the experience is invaluable. I find myself in that situation, I'm grateful to have a job, but my heart yearns for greener pastures and shorter worker hours, not to mention the annoyance of working weekends. Below is a list of things that bring me joy when I'm under the sun doing my thing, in no particular order.

1. Rex “aitye..eeeh!” Schumacher

Yaa’ll have heard of Micheal Schumacher? World champion formula 1 driver. some say he was born with a driving helmet on. I work with the other Schumacher, aptly named Rex (I know it sounds like a dog’s name but disregard that), some say that Micheal Schumacher only ever lost one go kart race as a teenager, he lost it to Rex. Okay maybe I'm exagerating, because I doubt Rex even knows who Michael Schumacher is. Rex is my driver; he drives faster than Sebastien Vettel in Pole position. He speeds like its going out of fashion; he's the only human who would try to do 120 km/h an hour on a bumpy gravel road with a cigarette in one hand and his mobile phone in the other. Did I hear someone ask what about the steering wheel? Well Rex steers that with his tongue. he is incapable of driving slowly. When he goes rushing to a sample and there is a hole in the road ahead, I fear for my life beacause he will go through it at lightning speed with the car jumping up and down. But I got his back, because Rex does not utilize English that well (Lavinia takes the cake but Rex & his English come close) so when its time to rush he drives and when a smooth talker is required I step in. It’s a healthy working relationship, he gets me to where I need to go fast and I talk us out of trouble when he speeds us into trouble (e.g. a mining construction area).

2. My Geologists

The technicians and drivers refer to us as the geos, when things go right we get the credit for a job well done and when things go wrong we get all the blame, even if it’s not our fault. But such is the fuckery of life; someone must always take the heat.

But I love my geos *no homo*, that’s what's up! As my boy Ndunga would say. Ndunga is the unofficial team leader, his reward for taking the lead during planning meetings that take place every night before bedtime. You see the way soccer players huddle together before taking a free kick with each one looking like he wants it, yep! That’s exatcly how to describe our planning meetings. The downside of being the "leader" is that you always get the tough places that no one wants, so when no one wants to go to a river or a rude farmer who threatens to shoot people for breathing, we just usually look sideways and send Ndunga (if he reads this then you guys know what happened to me if I don’t ever blog again).

Have you ever noticed how some people are normally so quiet and then develop the ability to run their mouth when they have a few sips of alcohol? That's the perfect way to describe my boys Abel a.k.a Nona/original cartoon boy and Hamukwaya a.k.a Mr RDP tendencies. Abel is fun when he sips, everything becomes funny and he actually says more than five sentences. Hamukwaya has RDP tendencies (no pun intended), he opposes everything! I remember one day where we had to walk 3 km to get a sample, he looked at me and said "you want me to walk 3 km for a sample *insert furious face*, how?". But I see it as a good thing because you always need someone with RDP tendencies to talk his mind when there are certain things that are not in order. We only have two girl geos at camp, technically only one, since Siglinde is a woman. Patrisia is the popular girl at camp, I think it has something to do with her nature, she accomodates everybody, which everyone mistakes for other things *guys will be guys, switches of imagination*. Patrisia thinks that I’m like Ashton Kutcher, and no! I don’t look like him, apparently it’s because we both behave the same way and dish out sarcastic jokes that only our imaginations find funny. Personally I think she’s wrong because Ashton is nowhere as handsome as I am.

3. The Technicians

Never call these guys labourers, you can but if you do then don’t expect to be alive after you say it.

These guys take their work very seriously, they don’t joke unless it’s about other people’s girlfriends, the technicians are the right hand men, each geo has one, and they do the thinking for us. Below are a few quotes from our trusty right hand men.

Nyambe: “what concerns a bird and a toothbrush if it has no teeth”

Aldrin: “above all, I will not sit in the back of the bakkie today; the geologists must feel the back”

Nelito: You! What is that? (Looking at my phone’s screen)

Me: it’s porn bra, you can see!

Nelito: You! You don’t look like you watch porn, Bluetooth it to me.

Me: No problem, and don’t judge me because I use it for research purposes

Nelito: Don’t be funny, what research in porn! You think you’re smart neh?

Bennet: “Iwe! Filemon, don’t disturb me with work, can’t you see I’m drinking!”

Me: But Bennet this is important.

Bennet: *puts on stern face* not as important as my beer, go away, ask me in the morning”.

Faustin (Camp Manager): Guys, I need to talk to you. (That phrase scares everyone at camp, coz it never ends well when he says it).

4. The Chef’s

One of the perks of spending weeks in the bush is that you have professional chefs cooking sumptuous meals, it gives you something to look forward to, in actual fact it’s a highlight of my day. First we had Andre, who knew his way round the kitchen, he was assisted by whitey, who got lost a few times on her way to the kitchen *my way of saying she sucked a bit, before she improved after we complained*.

Recently we got Djibril, who’s from DRC and has been trying a few hit and miss recipes, actually most have missed, whitey is the one now scoring most of the hits, but culinary arts is a tough discipline. One tongue likes your food and the other say’s it’s crap.

At the end of the day there will be a lot of things you don’t like about your job, maybe even people that make you job very difficult. But the beginning is always tough, because you have to start at the bottom and climb your way up, In Namibia it’s more difficult because there is no ladder to climb up, you have to be tough, resilient and resourceful, but above all you must be able to find little things about your job that make you smile and bring joy to you and make you forget about how long it is till the next pay day.