Letter to Unemployment



Dear Unemployment

Unemployment my old foe, so you say that you missed me. Well I didn't miss you at all. I thought that I was done with your unpleasant presence. You say that I just hurt your feelings? Dude! You do know that no one likes you right? You're loathed by millions across seven continents, you should be more like your cousin 13th cheque, that guy has more friends than a promiscuous girl .You say that you are lonely, that since I've left you've have no one to depress and break down psychologically. Well, that's not what the statistics say, according to talented number crunchers I am one of nearly 300 000 Namibians who has to put up with you.

Now, the last time we did this dance you had it all your way, we just sat around procrastinating. This time, I call the shots: we will do it my way. I talk and you listen, I'm not going to sit and play with you like you're little puppy (I got shit to do, so deal with it). What! did you just call me crazy? Oh no, you didn't! Just because this conversation is talking place entirely in my mind and I occasionally talk to myself doesn't make me crazy. I'm normal, the shrink disagrees but what does he know.

Anyways, I need to go. There's a job application I need to send out and stuff I need to write, so please excuse yourself and step. Go on, vamos! Allezy! Fustek! Inda hwiya! Suga wena! How many languages should I use? So you say I’m being mean to you, oh! It is my mind, thus we play by my rules.

Not hoping to see you again till I'm 50

Fly
P.S. Just so you know, no one likes you, that part is real and not just in my head.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10.5 in a straight line – The Namib Naukluft Mountains.

Image
A mountain is nature's way of saying take the long way round (Scenic route) May 2012 (The following actually happened, I kid you not) My head was stuck so deep in the map that I was closely analyzing that I hardly noticed when the car stopped, I kept staring at it as though a road to our destination would magically appear. “Why have we stopped, we’re not even a quarter of the way there?” I asked myself. No roads existed to where we wanted to go, just a frighteningly deep valley beyond the rocky hill where we stopped. As I got out of the car all I could see was grass, huge hills and the shadow of three big mountains on the horizon. I glanced at the GPS as I was lacing up my boots while Patrisia grabbed our back packs, what I saw hardly pleased me. “Agreed,” she said as she went left with her technician, and I went right with mine. We agreed to meet at the exact spot where the car was parked at the end of the day.  “10.5 km’s to target,” my technician said with unres...
Read more

Katrina and Jurgen's wedding - Happily forever after

Image
"I went to a wedding", if you're in owamboland during december you will hear that phrase repeatedly, well almost every single day. The Owambo's just love their weddings, so much that they even have multiple couples getting hitched simultaneously. In December 2010 a young bride left her older and kinda creepy future husband stuck at the altar, she refused to say i do "in my mind i just pictured the scene and boy it must have been dramatic, like oscar winning type of drama". Yes my dear friends, when it comes to weddings i have seen it and heard it all, sad thing is i've never been a groomsmen although that will change very soon. Nothing about weddings fascinated me anymore, that is until i attended the unorthodox yet extremely delightful wedding of Katrina Antonius and Jurgen Kriess. I know what you're thinking how is this wedding different from the rest? What could these two have done that countless others had not. Let me put it this way, Katrina i...
Read more

Trends of deadly passion

I am sure most of you have heard of the phrase ‘a crime of passion’. The reservoir of modern wisdom that is Wikipedia, defines it as “ a violent crime, especially murder, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as sudden rage rather than as a premeditated crime.” Wikipedia also states that the act, as is suggested by the name ( crime passionnel - from French language) is often associated with the history of France. However, such crimes have existed and continue to exist in most cultures. Namibia has seen a rise in the murder of young women, usually by their partner in an intimate relationship. Yes, boyfriends who kill their girlfriends. Usually siting a sudden rage brought on by a quarrel or spat which drives them to commit murder. I’ve been in relationships, and girls are weird. So I can understand how frustrated a guy can get, women are frustrating at times it’s like they are from a different planet. They can drive ...
Read more