The one that got away Part 2 _The sequel

I decided to make Mpume Sithole's day have and pen a sequel to the entertaining story in my previous post of how I choked on my words like a virgin teenage boy and ended up in the friend zone.

I've been struggling as of late to even string two paragraphs together (Nope! its not because I got a girlfriend), writers block has been sticking to me like a g-string between a fat girls buttocks. So do excuse me if I don't hit the peaks of hysteria that all of you have grown accustomed to from me (So sit down, relax and chill your Guava!). I did not know how I was going to write this post without offending the femme fatale in this particular story. So I thought about really hard for like 5 seconds and decided to go with the richard Branson approach (yaa"ll know him right? the guy behind the Virgin brand?), his approach is simple and can be summed up in a title of one of his books "Screw it! let's do it". So I'm just gona tell the story, if she catches feelings then she can just chill her Guava as well.

How I met this beautiful yet slightly volatile young woman is still a little murky, we're born on the same day (creepy right?) and we both liked the same colours. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I ended up in her living room after I tagged along on a ninja mission with Alex. Technically it was her mothers living but I'm sure yaa"ll get the point (Don't ask what the mission involved, but anyone with half a brain can guess that a girl was involved). What followed was your typical modern day interaction, a long sequence of text messages. It was around that time that free SMS's were rolled out to mobile phone consumers in Namibia (we always get things last). I was a student at the time and I was the worst type of student, I was a broke student. So the luxury of having dollars to spare for airtime to make calls was a mere fairytale, so I was restricted to SMS's. That's how I kept in touch with her and that's how I got to know her. All of this took place between the silly season in December and the financially dry waste of a month that is January. Which funny enough involved me loosing my phone (Nokia 1100, known as the grand father of the little phone with a torch). I got a Nokia 5110 as a replacement, for those of you who have no clue as to what I'm refering to its the one that looks like a walkie talkie delightfully named in oshiwambo as "odhopi/odopi" which translates to "the brick" in English. The damned thing was so heavy that you could use it as an anchor during a windstorm.

In 2007 my confidence sank so low that it affected my grades and my game with the ladies. What made it worse was that I didn't have that much game to begin with. Needless to say that I wasn't a very happy chappy and varsity like a hungry crocodile was having me for breakfast, chewing me to the bone like a hyena. Having to redo this one stupid module did not help things either (damned thing had no manners at all). 2008's first semester started with some enthusiasm. but because I was a broke student, times were tough, I'd have to survive most days (08h00 - 17h00) on a single piece of banana cake. As I got to know her, the effect that she had on me when I saw her got stronger with each occasion. She had such a debilitating effect on me that she made my leg shake involuntarily, I had it bad in the worst way, I don't know if it was the fact that dynamite comes in small packages or her feisty personality. unlike the last time, I made my feelings clear from the start. I went all "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir ma cherry" on her, she had no idea what hit her (not rubbing my ego, I'm just saying). Now that I speak proper French its probably not a good idea to leave me round a pretty girl (there I go rubbing my ego again).

The blue print for the nokia 5110 "the brick"

What only came to my attention after we broke up is that we spent more time on our phones chatting with each other than we did in person, which I now realize was not smart on my part. Because we were a little awkward and slightly socially retarded around one another when we met face to face with no cellphone screen to hide behind. I remember the first time I kissed her, it was a textbook example of how not to kiss a girl. It was like watching a pair of virgins fumbling in the dark, I don't even think our lips were connected for long enough for what happened to be classified as a kiss. but all I know is that she made me happy and getting to know her better made tackling Structural Geology a little less intimidating.

Second Semester bought with it an increase in work load and more stress than a promiscuous girl fretting over her late periods. That is when things started to unravel, she went all Britney Spears meltdown on me. It now has now dawned on me that the femme fatale in this story might get offended by what I write next and decide to track me down and beat me half to death with a telephone directory (that thing is thick enough to break bullet proof glass). Like I said earlier, we'll just buy her some Guava juice, sit her down and tell her to chill.

The signs were there, I got summoned one evening. I walked to her place of residence in the cold of the windhoek autumn and got an emotional ear full. There were tears and dramatic African movie type antics minus the rolling on the floor though, and then boom! like a bolt of lighting, I was struck by a text message. No wait, it was a call. Uhmmm..scratch that! it was a text (see how much of a state of disorder that this particular batch of no so good news threw me into). I'm sure yaa'll are eager to know what the text said, well strangely enough it was the "I need space, we need to take a break" text, on second thoughts, maybe it was a telephone call. Sad thing is I didn't get it until the so called "break" started stretching past one month territory (personally speaking, brutal honesty would have been better).

It was easy for me to Judge and point a finger at her in the past, but now that I have lived, loved, lost a little and been a douchebag and done the same to a girl. I fully understand how sometimes in life you make tough decisions, heck! who am I kidding! To this day I still don't know what happened, but a part of me get's it, problem is the other part of me still refuses to understand.

I let her go, because if you really love something then let it go (boy have I done a lot of that over the last decade), if it comes back then it was meant to be. If it doesnt, then you should stop believing stuff you see in romantic movies *Curses at Katherine Heigel*. What I know for certain is that she has found happiness, she's a doting mom to a dashing little boy. who already has that "hide your daughters, he's a heart breaker look". I'm not hating on the little tyke for having good genes, I'm just saying he has that face, although I'm sure if he ever did try any funny Casanova stuff that his mom would sort him out with something much worse than a telephone directory.

After I finally put two and two together I had a romance with the coolest girl I've ever met, I won't go into detail about her. But on a scale of one to five the afternoons I spent with her were a big fat 7, the girl did this winking thing that just stimulated the mischievous side of my personality. I am going into detail aren't I? My apologies, let's move on. Then when I wasn't paying attention I met the girl with the big brown eyes, who I've spoken of but never delved into detail about and I will leave that story for another day.