Back to December



December in the southern hemisphere is blazing hot like the melting point of hell; it is the climax of summer. December is also a month of joy, bringing with it a well earned rest and break after a long year of struggle, the trees are green, flowers go into full bloom and the birds sing cheerfully in half screams like a woman on the verge of an orgasm.

December in the northern hemisphere is a different beast, it is cruel and unforgiving. It is the coldest month of the year after January, it is dark and gloomy, and you will feel alone. You will feel even more alone if you are far from the person you care about the most. You will feel the cold so much you will starting wondering if hell has frozen over. December was unbearable, it was the worst time of my life, and I didn’t have the person most dear to my heart in my life anymore. I felt more alone than an orphan polar bear at the North Pole.

Days seemed to have morphed into long continuous nights that yielded no sleep at all. If sleep could be bought I wouldn’t be able to afford it, even if I went shopping with a blank cheuque. I missed her warmth. I missed her smile, as Taylor swift says in her song back to December “it seems like a chain was on your door”. 

I go back to that December, especially at 01h00 A.M during a sleepless night. Taylor says it better in back to December, but if I could go back I would love her right. I would still be an idiot though because nothing can change that, Taylor also says “I realise that freedom aint nothing but missing you, wishing I knew what I had when you were mine. The poet that is Taylor Swift or whoever writes her song goes on to say “If I could go back in time, I would change it but I can’t”.

It’s always stupidity and pride that gets in the way. As December ended, reality hit home that it was over and in January I would have to grow up and be a proper man. A man who shows the pain of being alone and not concealing it, because life moves on and time waits for no man. If I truly loved her, I’d have to let her go and hope she came back. If she didn’t, then mind would always go back to December.
When life gives you snow, make snow angels

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