Chronicles of Fly

Some wise words Disclaimer: The mind of Filemon_Fly is not wired like that of a normal human male. The revelations below might shock you, kill you with laughter and leave you slightly confused. Read with an open mind. I have been on what is generally termed as a break from relationships. The aftermath of my split from my ex had effects more far reaching than I had ever imagined (those eyes, it was the eyes). Anyways I have decided to get back on the horse, if you catch my drift. Unfortunately the dynamics of modern relationships have changed and my time in France has resulted in me getting left behind. Before you embark on a new expedition preparation is necessary, one must do their homework first (can’t just dive in like a blind duck).The following is my homework, it’s a brief profile of possible candidates of the type of woman that a slightly nerdish, extremely dorkish, down to earth geek should consider as dating material. 1. The Seelima Type: Seelima is the girl...

happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear chronicles of fl--yyy, happy birthday to you *singing* Hip hip hooray! My blog is officially one year old and what a year it has been. To see how it all started click here. I owe a great debt of gratitude to my readers, especially those who leave comments (high five), the other readers; you guys are great but those guys who leave comments! Aaye! you guys are super *Leonard chuene voice*. I'd buy each one of you a bottle of bells but this right here is not the ministry of veterans affairs, we don't give away stuff for free, on this blog you have to earn it. Before I continue with my acceptance speech and thank everyone including my dog, I'm gona stand and thank everyone associated with the chronicles of fly *stands and claps hands 3 times*. Now that all protocol has been observed (I'm all for order and stuff like someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), let's get down to business. I have been ...

Before all you hopeless romantics panic and go into cardiac arrest, you should note that Valentines is not really cancelled, even if I wanted to cancel it I just would not be able to; because the chocolate and wine makers, restaurants and flower shops would go out of business. The headline was just to catch your attention and get you to read this. In Namibia it seems as though the concept of Valentine’s Day is mostly embraced by married couples spicing things up and love struck teenagers in high school. Most of the gentleman I know have broken up with their girlfriends to avoid paying for flowers that die in two days, chocolates that go straight to a woman’s hips and expensive restaurants that serve you steaks smaller than the slices at Kapana. Yep! Namibian guys are that cheap. We just don’t care about such things, romance is a foreign concept and lucky for me I don’t have a girlfriend to temporarily break up with, hence my conscience is clean come the 14 th of February. Normally I w...

It has just occured to me that I haven't posted anything in quite a long time, I can't blame unemployment for that (I've had enough time to deal with that). As much as not having a particular reason to get up in the morning depresses me, the problem lies with things I refuse to let go, things I held on to instead of severing ties. things that my heart refuses to confine to the past, issues that stalk me at night and disturb my sleep. Do not panic and start to worry, then conclude that I'm crazy; I just deal with the challenges of life this way.   Enough about my problems (i have the whole of 2012 to blog about them), I would like to share a few things that occured to me during one of my philosophical moments. Perserverance ~: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement In situations of great distress there are two natural instincts/When you’re up to your forehead in shit then y...

"I went to a wedding", if you're in owamboland during december you will hear that phrase repeatedly, well almost every single day. The Owambo's just love their weddings, so much that they even have multiple couples getting hitched simultaneously. In December 2010 a young bride left her older and kinda creepy future husband stuck at the altar, she refused to say i do "in my mind i just pictured the scene and boy it must have been dramatic, like oscar winning type of drama". Yes my dear friends, when it comes to weddings i have seen it and heard it all, sad thing is i've never been a groomsmen although that will change very soon. Nothing about weddings fascinated me anymore, that is until i attended the unorthodox yet extremely delightful wedding of Katrina Antonius and Jurgen Kriess. I know what you're thinking how is this wedding different from the rest? What could these two have done that countless others had not. Let me put it this way, Katrina i...

When i left namibia for france in july 2010 i was anxious but not afraid. in my mind i knew that this great adventure that i had undertaken was goin to change things for the better, and i would get to learn french "women love dudes that speak french, makes them go dizzy". When me and my partner in crime arrived (identity withheld), we were given a proper namibian welcome that made home feel a little closer. The namibian crew that was already there had finished their stay and gave us the lay of the land. My boys rudolf and Abisai gave a few insights on the french ladies, apparently the more strange you look the more attrative you are to white women. they called it the first law of attraction, with my dreadlocks i had killed two birds with one small stone.I got a few style and gadget tips from Nerago, she suggested my new alias Filemon_Fly (maybe i should name a daughter after her?). but the most profound piece of advice came from from Ndapewa Shipopyeni, who is so full of wi...

I usually begin with some philosophical material laced with a joke or two to break the ice, and then I tie my introduction to the main theme of my article so the reader can connect the two before I deliver the sermon/make a bit of sense. But since its #Nam December (new name for festive season) and most of you have weddings to crash, ceremonies to attend and generally things to do, I will just get straight to the point.  I have four sisters, three belong to number 1 and one to number2 (Confused then read this one first (click, then read) ). I call them the awesome four, personalities and moods swings that would make a plot of a martin Lawrence comedy. These girls have made my holiday interesting; shall we name them and shame them then? Okay, you ready?, set, let’s go.  I will use code names to avoid getting killed with a cooking spoon or a pair of heels. The oldest is P (as in the letter P, pronounced P-eeh), if her height is not intimidating enough her no nonsense appro...