Smiling through the pain



Life has ups and it has downs. The effects of each vary from one individual to the next, but they usually comprise of unconstrained happiness during the up and devastating sadness during the down period. I’ve been told that I am always emotionally neutral. So people can never tell if I am going up or coming down. Which sounds like rubbish to me, people should pay more attention. 

I go through ups and they’re followed by downs. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is ‘No’ – I am not bipolar, that’s some serious shit. I just have problems dealing with the psychological challenges of life. It also doesn’t help that I tend to keep my emotions concealed, I am the poster child for emotional bottling. I was even elected president of Emotional Bottlers Anonymous. What you’re detecting is sarcasm, the façade of emotional bottlers, or so I have been told. 

When I was a young man, I used to think it was a good idea to fight the melancholy. Fight darkness with light and what not. Now that I am a little older, I have become wiser – or so I think, I am not really good enough at this life thing to be sure. I’ve learnt to respect the process, I’ve left fighting to Kwaito’s and inebriated idiots. 

I used to fight my downs with alcohol. Confession; down periods induce an attraction to alcohol that is truly amazing. You’ll find me drinking on a Monday. When that happens then you should know that life is really messing with me. I understand the logic of self-medicating with alcohol, I just don’t understand the application, the line between using it as a coping mechanism and abusing it is very thin. Alcohol doesn’t numb the pain, if it did – surely, doctors would prescribe it. Did I hear a few of you say ‘Amen!’ – It’s okay to dream. But, I have discovered that alcohol really confuses the voices. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no as well. I am not schizophrenic, that’s some really serious shit.

I guess what I am saying is that with time an individual learns how to cope with life. Sufferers of chronic migraines know that they need medication to manage the pain. In the same vein, as one goes through the constant undulations of life, you learn to manage the shitty part of being human. I call it ‘Life challenge management’, commonly known as smiling through the pain.
“There is nothing noble in the fight, only in survival.”

If you’re smart you’ll learn that life’s down periods are like mental/creative/writers blocks, which in turn is like a scab. If you leave it alone, understand that it is only temporary and respect the process, you’ll be back to normal in no time at all (provided you stay away from the alcohol).  If you don’t then you’ve stirred up some really serious shit.

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