I like you



I like you, I am ashamed to say it but I like you. It’s not that I am satisfied that we can at least be friends type of like. Hell no! It’s that I wish I could kidnap your boyfriend and make him break your heart so I can swoop in to nurse your pain and have you all to myself type of like. It’s evil but I can’t help it, this kind of compatibility and chemistry is all too familiar. Do not covet another’s, but I think that refers to wives and guess what I do not see a ring on your finger. It conflicts me to express this, but I can’t help but conclude that you are unfulfilled with him and nothing pushes a woman closer to infidelity than being mentally unfulfilled. 

I don’t have to explain my jokes to you; you get my sense of humor. There is no need to leave you clues because we think on the same wavelength, we communicate like we are tuned to the same frequency. I keep my distance because I know that enough time spent close to you would make me lose my control, I sell you a facade that I know you can see through, but circumstances connive against us. I am sure that in another life or parallel universe we’re great lovers, that Romeo and Juliet “I would die without you” type of love. I can’t say you’re better off with me and I’d treat you better than him, because I am just a man, even more flawed than rest. But I don’t think there would be a man walking the face of the earth who would appreciate you more, except of course maybe God but he doesn’t walk the face of the earth, he’s all up in heaven with Steve Jobs running the show from his all powerful Mac computer (I think, never been to heaven so I can’t really be sure).

I shot myself in the foot; the “I am taking a break from relationships” story is one I spin to scare of those girls that I know are only interested in the idea of me. I don’t really know why I told you that, maybe it’s because I am afraid to let another woman in the same way I let HER in, her marks are still tattooed on my heart. The mental scars that I inflicted on myself from missing her are still healing, the part of me that lives in denial still stupidly longs for her, even though it knows that boat sailed so long ago it’s probably in Narnia by now. Sometimes a human soul just longs to fall for another’s personality and mind rather than looks, but it helps that you are presentable and have a smile that could make the Grinch’s foul mood momentarily neutral. 

You know how they say in all the love songs these days “She stole my heart”. The one before you did just that but I am equally guilty because I was a willing accomplice. Well she was like a thief in the night that swooped in and took my heart. I only have myself to blame, she didn’t have to break in because I left the door open for her. If she met you I think she would be emotionally neutral in your presence, but I know a minute after your absence she’d probably give me a high 5 and take me aside to say “I like your taste, chick has class”.  I haven’t been ready to let another woman in to steal my heart, which was until the day that I finally got to know who you were. If you are willing, then I will gladly be your accomplice, heck I’ll draw you a map to my heart just to make sure you get there. I have seen a glimpse, but now I want more. What I saw was like the trailer and now I desperately want to watch the movie.

Whether I eventually have the honor of knowing what it is to love you is out of my control, all I know is that I am in like with you.
Just like you, naturally beautiful

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10.5 in a straight line – The Namib Naukluft Mountains.

Image
A mountain is nature's way of saying take the long way round (Scenic route) May 2012 (The following actually happened, I kid you not) My head was stuck so deep in the map that I was closely analyzing that I hardly noticed when the car stopped, I kept staring at it as though a road to our destination would magically appear. “Why have we stopped, we’re not even a quarter of the way there?” I asked myself. No roads existed to where we wanted to go, just a frighteningly deep valley beyond the rocky hill where we stopped. As I got out of the car all I could see was grass, huge hills and the shadow of three big mountains on the horizon. I glanced at the GPS as I was lacing up my boots while Patrisia grabbed our back packs, what I saw hardly pleased me. “Agreed,” she said as she went left with her technician, and I went right with mine. We agreed to meet at the exact spot where the car was parked at the end of the day.  “10.5 km’s to target,” my technician said with unres...
Read more

Katrina and Jurgen's wedding - Happily forever after

Image
"I went to a wedding", if you're in owamboland during december you will hear that phrase repeatedly, well almost every single day. The Owambo's just love their weddings, so much that they even have multiple couples getting hitched simultaneously. In December 2010 a young bride left her older and kinda creepy future husband stuck at the altar, she refused to say i do "in my mind i just pictured the scene and boy it must have been dramatic, like oscar winning type of drama". Yes my dear friends, when it comes to weddings i have seen it and heard it all, sad thing is i've never been a groomsmen although that will change very soon. Nothing about weddings fascinated me anymore, that is until i attended the unorthodox yet extremely delightful wedding of Katrina Antonius and Jurgen Kriess. I know what you're thinking how is this wedding different from the rest? What could these two have done that countless others had not. Let me put it this way, Katrina i...
Read more

Trends of deadly passion

I am sure most of you have heard of the phrase ‘a crime of passion’. The reservoir of modern wisdom that is Wikipedia, defines it as “ a violent crime, especially murder, in which the perpetrator commits the act against someone because of sudden strong impulse such as sudden rage rather than as a premeditated crime.” Wikipedia also states that the act, as is suggested by the name ( crime passionnel - from French language) is often associated with the history of France. However, such crimes have existed and continue to exist in most cultures. Namibia has seen a rise in the murder of young women, usually by their partner in an intimate relationship. Yes, boyfriends who kill their girlfriends. Usually siting a sudden rage brought on by a quarrel or spat which drives them to commit murder. I’ve been in relationships, and girls are weird. So I can understand how frustrated a guy can get, women are frustrating at times it’s like they are from a different planet. They can drive ...
Read more