Questions that need answers - Epangelo nali talepo nawa mpo!

The lines have been drawn, the showdown is set. As the universal saying goes “when two elephants fight, it’s the ground that suffers”. So what happens when three elephants fight? It probably goes something like “When three elephants fight, all the other animals scatter and run for the burrows screaming”. 

If you are still lost and have no idea what I’m talking about, let me enlighten you. The melodramatic saga that is the SWAPO succession race for the Vice Presidency has been narrowed down to three candidates. Stalwart Iron Lady and current Secretary General Meme Pendukeni Iithana is one of the candidates. Firebrand veteran and sometimes political mouth piece bordering on loose cannon Tate Jerry Ekandjo and charismatic former Prime Minister Hage Geingob, who is the incumbent in the Vice President Position. The Winner is guaranteed to become the next president of Namibia, unless the ground opens and swallows the country whole, a tsunami submerges everything under water or an alien ship picks it up and takes it back to their galaxy. As you can see Presidential victory for the winner in this contest is pretty much sealed signed and delivered.

I have already expressed my views and displeasure on the limitations of the three candidates, who will attempt to change what they could not do as part of the current government. But let me be the bigger man and put that aside. There are bigger questions to be answered here; I have narrowed it down to three questions that go into the “epangelo nail talepo nawa mpo” catergory (the government must analyse/review carefully).

1. Why Does Jerry Ekandjo have a son named “Sam shafiishuna Nujoma”?

Is this just a mere coincidence or a pre-meditated political chess move? Or maybe it’s just a little hero worshiping? Call it what you may but in the political chess game that is the SWAPO succession saga it might well be that comrade Jerry is about to pull a Nujoma out of the hat and check mate his two foes. We all know that Uncle Sam’s preferred candidate will have a clear advantage over the rest.

Waving the infamous finger

2. Meme Pendukeni’s hairstyles, which one will be the presidential one?

As senior and respected as she is, she is pretty much just an ordinary gal. As shown by her changing hair styles and SWAPO coloured hand bag. So if the nation votes for her because she is a woman and ignores her dislike for the media and her sometimes aggressive approach. Which hairstyle will she sport, or will she keep us guessing by changing from the straight cut “Kwambi panga”, the curled short hair or will she go for the short hair overdosed with relaxer? She is unpredictable so you never know

Looking pretty in pink

3. Where does Hage get his suits and who paid for the Jet?

 After he got shafted and pushed to the side before president Pohamba rose to prominence, Hage took a bit of a sabbatical and spent some time in New York. I am not saying that is where he acquired his good taste but maybe it played a role, the man has suits that I would give a toe to have. Although he would do good to go to the gym and tone up a bit, because he is looking a little round at the middle. The other question is where is all the money for the nice suits and fully paid trips on the presidential jet coming from. Is he like Manchester City football club? does he have a rich Arabic sugar daddy or is he just loaded? We need answers!

The man has style

All the candidates have said that they will be civil and kind to one another. There will be no back chatting and infighting (chuckles), who are they fooling. Ahem (cough), we all know that in politics getting a little dirty comes with the job description and no one plays fair. I tell you now the amount of scheming and backstabbing going on around the scenes right now would make the producers of a telenovela salivate. We all know the major shafting that happened last time and the consequences. All I know is these politicians are heaven sent; I will have enough material and inspiration to last me till 2014.