Young Wild and Free - Life in the fast lane

Life teaches me many lessons. It’s taught me some hard and painful one's, like how you should never ignore your woman, because while you are ignoring her some other Tom, Dick or Harry is making her smile. I usually learn by stepping back, removing myself from the situation and observing closely, with wide eyed couriosity like a puberscent teenage boy getting his first glance of an exposed breast.

Picture this scene; it’s 3 AM in the club on a Saturday night. Right now your mind should be doing that thing in movies where they warp the picture to take you back in time or when someone tells a story. Imagine bright lights flickering viciously like police lights, loud music thumping through the ear drums *cues dirty kandeshi remix* and scantily dressed young women gyrating their bodies like a cross between a belly dancer and an exotic dancer in the climax of a drug fuelled striptease. Add to the mix the distinct unmistakable aroma of cigarettes, sweaty Homo sapiens and malt whisky attacking the senses. Not forgetting all sorts of strange looking alcohols being gulped down like holy water and disorientated individuals wondering around like lost tourists. Throw in the odd looking guy/girl busting strange dancing moves that look like they were stolen from a techno music rave. That is most young Namibian professional’s definition of a good time (No offence to those of you that do the coconut thing of drinking at home or at up market spots, yaa’ll are a rare minority).

@Chuabiness --> Lil do we knw the MFs who invented #YOLO earn millions a mnth n encourage us 2b stupid wt our couple of thousands on th 30th Cc@Filemon_Fly

At this point try to remove yourself from the above mentioned scenario and look at it from an anthropological point of view, look at it as a study of human interactions. I don't have a PhD in human studies; I am just a normal sarcastic geologist. In my eyes it comes across as a desperate attempt by young men who are detached from society because of the demands of their jobs, it’s their outlet to vent and relax the only way they know how (or just a way of getting attention and compensating for their insecurities). A friend of mine once spilled my beer at a bar, I asked him why and he responded "It's not like I can't afford to buy you another one, drink!". It’s the way of life for the coffee bean generation of Namibia upon whose shoulders the struggle of economic emancipation rests, having a good time involves ingesting large amounts of alcohol in the company of people who are only there while you have money. It's what I call life in the fast lane, women, booze and the inevitable sexual relations that most often yield an unplanned entry to parenthood.

Life in the fast lane is addictive, the lure of attention from the opposite sex who are drawn to the glitz and glamour of rolling with the working class is immense. However it’s not cost effective, especially if you are a guy. Because you foot the bill and don't get me wrong when I say that these city young girls are crafty when it comes to having men foot their bills. The guy pays in cash because alcohol is expensive and the girl usually pays with her vagina (excuse my French), which is a sure way of keeping the guy coming back for more (ever heard of the phrase “heaven is between a woman’s legs”??? anyone???”. It's a win-win situation; the guy gets a good time and some nookie while boosting his ego and reputation as a baller who beds hot girls (you would swear sex was the answer to everything, the way my generation goes on about it). The girl is guaranteed cash for fixing her hair, nails and keeping herself asthetically beautiful, because being a girl of the sparkling lights of the night requires the right clothes, jewels and make up, and that stuff is not cheap.

What point am I trying to bring across here? Well in simple English; as glamorous as the fast life is, it’s also a shortcut to heaven (if you’re lucky enough to get in, otherwise you will burn). It’s common knowledge especially in Windhoek that for every 5 guys that a girl associates herself with closely, she has slept with 6 of them (Shocking huh?). It’s like a spider web, the men represent the prey stuck in the web and the girl is the black widow ready to snuff the life out and have them for dinner. I hope most of you get it! For those still lost let me clear up any confusion, if you live life in the fast lane without a care in the world then you my friend will die! You are chasing death like a drunken fool driving a Lamborghini on a gravel road (if that makes any sense). Let’s not use anti-retro vitals and healthy living as an excuse e.g. “If I get the thorn (HIV), then there’s medication”, that’s like looking for trouble when it’s standing right behind you.

Young people are funny, you can tell them it’s going to rain and they will still forget the umbrella at home. Young people also have different interpretations of good and bad. What Tom defines as a good time, is what Harry and Dick view as dancing with death in a dress and shiny lip gloss. The fundamental truth is that we cannot hide from statistics and the stats for southern Africa are shocking, and as much as we educate people, give them free condoms and free testing. If a person refuses to change their lifestyle then you are preaching to the deaf, don’t be a victim. Leave the glamour of the fast life to those who want to die young and be good looking corpses. You will never find happiness in the lies of the devil, at the bottom of a whisky bottle or the arms of a loose woman.

"I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke niggers" - Kanye West

Note: Most feminists will view this post as an attack on women and their lack of morals, which it is not. It’s a realistic look at what happens every single weekend across Namibia; it’s like a written documentary of social interactions. Exceptions are there, but we all know that good men and women are scarce like rain in the desert, all the good ones are taken and rest are too small (Unless of course you don’t mind going to jail for statutory rape). I salute all the women who stick to their principals, pay for their own shit and wouldn’t let you into their panties even if you were Brad Pitt. Mothers teach their daughters to be good women with integrity and self respect; however no one teaches boys to be good men so we end up fucking up all the good work and corrupting them.