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Controversial Namibians

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One of the things I love most about watching sports is the commentary — preferably in English, but Afrikaans also slaps. Commentators don’t just fill in gaps of inaction and guide you through a sports event, sometimes they are the best part of a sports event aside from the athletes themselves. A soccer match takes on a different perspective when Peter Drury lends his voice to it, when he narrated the Barcelona versus FC Roma match in the Eufa champions league quarterfinals he painted Costas Manolas as a Greek God who descended from Mount Olympus to the Olympic stadium of Rome to rescue Roma. He mused that it was not meant to happen, that it could not happen, but it was happening. Roma had risen from their ruins. It is still one of the most thrilling pieces of football commentary ever. Only equalled by Ian Darke convincing the world that Stoke City versus Birmingham City is one of the greatest sports clashes in England. Commentary when done right makes a sports event even mo
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How dare you?

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  You will read the words audacious and dare quite a few times before you get to the end of this article. Being a writer in Namibia is downright audacious, how dare you? No one writes form small places; they write about small places. Why can’t you stick to your box? Go and be a: Doctor; Engineer; Accountant; Scientist — a respectable profession. Why dabble in other things? Do you really want to add imposter syndrome, writers block, and self-deprecation to your list of problems? How dare you? Well… How dare you not? Lest you continue to complain about people telling your stories and contorting the narrative to present to the world what you are not. The only thing slightly more audacious than being a writer in Namibia is deciding to write fiction. How dare you? Don’t you know that only people who have risked their lives for their country or are the first black person in their country to achieve something warrant literary fame? Why can’t you wait until you have lived long enough and have
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Why do namibians like eating?

  Why do Namibians like eating? Maybe because it rhymes with cheating. Namibians have an insatiable appetite for sex. Oto patana? Show me a Namibian man who is married or in a relationship that doesn’t have at least one side chick, show me that and I’ll tell you who killed Tupac Shakur. Clearly, we have a taste for forbidden fruit, so it’s no surprise that we like corruption. Wait, did you really think this article was about eating? Shame! Namibians are the champions of selective morality, something is only wrong if they are not benefiting from it, and this is the general attitude towards corruption. As long as I am eating then it’s not corruption. Long queues are generally a sign that something is not working correctly, they are indicative of poor service delivery and inefficient systems, in Namibia a queue is the perfect place to observe the proclivity for corruption. Queue cutting is the most enjoyable form of low level corruption to watch. Most people use their friends to cut a
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The cost of building the ship as it sails

It’s no secret that the Covid-19 pandemic caught the whole world with its trousers down and its underwear exposed. Namibia is no exception, and with each passing week the fallout from the coronavirus exposes the ugly side of Namibia: the inequality in our society and just how deeply entrenched it is. The Namibian education system is an example where social and economic inequality has been badly exposed. The introduction of e-learning by the Ministry of Education during the lockdown was a bold decision, but in truth when all the variables are weighed up, they are sacrificing the Namibian child so that a lackluster government can save face. E-learning has massive benefits, one being that kids get to learn in the comfort of home – that’s assuming that every child has a comfortable home. Another advantage is that you don’t need a physical classroom, kids can learn from a location that is geographically removed from that of their teacher – that’s assuming that there is internet connecti
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How many chains?

How many chains must I wear to become a slave? Car, mortgage, rent, taxes - call me Tobie. How many times must I kneel at the altar of Capitalism? Free markets are churches, profit is a religion. Our obsession with wealth, keeps us praying to Gods we don't even believe in. How much money is enough? Will you take bread out of the mouth of your fellow man? The rich get richer, the poor? Well, pawns are always sacrificed first - the wheel must break. Give us this day our daily bread, the fish rots from the head.  We entrusted our oceans to crooks who stole the dreams of 700 men, They broke the hearts of their wives and scared their children for life, Yet we thanked them for their patriotism. How many times must I vote before I taste the fruits of freedom? We traded colonialists for landlords, what are actually free from? What worth is a life of perennial pain? How many chains?
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Some are more equal than others

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There is nothing like a global pandemic to remind you how fucked up your country is. Covid-19 is not only testing the humanity of the world but has exposed the inequality in many African countries, Namibia is no exception. According to the Genie Index figures compiled by the World Bank in 2019, Namibia is the fourth most unequal country in Africa and the world, we would be number 3 if South Africa wasn’t that neighbor that wants to beat you at everything. Southern Africa is the most unequal region in Africa in terms of wealth distribution, an African Development Bank study in 2012 revealed that 7 out of the 10 most unequal African countries were in Southern Africa. Which is kind of silly considering that Southern Africa has two of the top ten diamond producers in the world, and the fourth largest producer of Uranium in the world.  So, it’s no surprise that one of the things that is most highlighted by the outbreak of Covid-19 in Namibia is the social and economic inequali
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